To The Brokenhearted (Un)Believer In Christ:

In 2004, I walked away from my relationship with God.

I felt angry, betrayed, and disappointed with God for the pain I felt He had caused to accumulate throughout my life. I thought when I accepted Christ at 15 years old that all my pain would miraculously be washed away. When the pain didn’t disappear, I spent years submerging myself deeper into ministry seeking God’s approval. The belief I had was if I can do more ‘good’ then God will give me more favor and I will finally receive the life I felt I desired and deserved. When that day never came, I walked away believing that it would never happen; that Christ, God, and Christianity were a lie.

For 16 years, I walked through the fires of a bittersweet hell. I experienced a failed marriage; near-death experiences and a myriad of different world religions that left me disappointed over and over again. Meanwhile, I acquired two amazing children and a white picket fence life during that time. The life I tried to create for myself was failing in a sea of anger, bitterness, rage, suicidal thoughts, and unforgiveness. Numerous times I tried to reconcile my relationship with God, but He seemed non-existent. Since I felt I couldn’t find traces of Him in my present life, I began to double-down in my anger which turned to rage.

From 2013-2018, I intentionally cursed God publicly and privately. Any opportunity that arose to speak against Him, His people, and His Kingdom in a public and private setting I welcomed. My petulance reinforced a belief that I was unloved and forgotten by God. I proceeded to seek other gods. From Buddhism, Taoism, Islam, Hinduism, Bahaism, Occultism, Agnostic, and Atheism. I continued to seek anything but the true and living God.

In 2015, my children, and I participated in a mikvah (a Jewish baptism), after I discovered my Hebrew ancestry. However, I walked away from that experience confused, without peace, and still a constant void existed.

Interestingly, while I was still disparaging God, I began experiencing a multitude of angelic encounters. I knew He was trying to remind me of His everlasting love and unfailing kindness. God sent me divine appointments to pray for people which I obliged begrudgingly. I knew it was Him pursuing me. The more He pursued. The more I ran in the opposite direction.

As time continued forward, disappointments and unrest turned to defeat. I felt fractured spiritually, mentally, and emotionally which began manifesting physically. I became unhinged.

In late 2017, I experienced a professional disruption that shifted the trajectory of my personal and professional life. I went further into my life-long battle with depression, anxiety, and PTSD. I wasn’t able to self-medicate myself out of this deep emotional hole.

Once 2018 began, my depression became deeper while my professional problems became worse. These problems finally climaxed in the summer of 2018. I sunk deeper into depression. I knew God was the only One who could resolve these issues but I was blinded by my pride and vengeance. The problems continued, and I finally reached a breaking point. One day in the midst of the turmoil, in the middle of my office, I got down on my knees and prayed a strained prayer while my employees stared. I could barely utter the words to pray. I left the office that day, went home, and laid on my bed. While lying quietly, I felt the most peaceful presence enter my room. I froze. I heard, “Janét, if you can talk to everyone else, then you can talk to me.” I didn’t speak. I remained still. I knew it was God but I didn’t know how to meet Him even though He was willing to come down to reach me. Two days after my prayer and encounter every outstanding professional problem was resolved. I begrudgingly thanked Him.

As the summer continued, I remained the same. While traveling, a friend sent me a Christian video as a joke. I began watching the video which highlighted a well-known entrepreneur. Near the end of the video, the entrepreneur shared a forgiveness story and how God had to prove His strength in their weakness. I started laughing. I knew that message was for me.

Once I returned home from my travels, I didn’t go back to work right away. I became uncommunicative to everyone except for those in my home. Day after day, after I sent my kids to school, I would sit on the sofa watching Christian videos on YouTube instead of working from my laptop. Finally, after weeks of watching videos, I mustered up the strength to accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour again. Once I uttered those words, immediately the rushing presence of the Holy Spirit entered me. From the root of my body to the crown of my head I felt mended together.

Although, I began walking with Christ again. It was still a slow road to finding my pace and stride in my Christian walk.

Fast-forwarding to 2019, while flying back from D.C. I came across a YouTube video by Pastor Steven Furtick. After watching his sermon, I began seeking out all the content by Pastor Steven. Shortly after this occurrence, I became a member of Elevation Church Online.

In early March 2020, I decided to join an eGroup. In fact, I joined three groups. However, only one remained consistent weekly. The one eGroup that remained constant is where I met an amazing eGroup leader named Millie Bautista who empowered me to join her community. Interestingly, Millie encouraged me to become an eGroup leader shortly after joining her community. Her encouraging words created fear in me. Meanwhile, I had become a successful global leader professionally, I told Millie, I didn’t feel confident enough to lead spiritually. I still felt out of sorts. The more I pursued Christ, the more obstacles arose. Unfortunately, professional turmoil had arisen again. My personal life was still transitioning, and uncertainty lingered everywhere. It was 18 months since my reconciliation with Christ, but I continued to struggle with incessant negative thoughts, guilt, and paralyzing shame. However, my weaknesses didn’t deter Millie from speaking life into my broken spaces. I began showing up to eGroup consistently each week. As time continued forward, I found my stride with God. My peace increased; my fears subsided, and the guilt and shame began to evaporate. Three months after joining her community, she gave her eGroup to me known at the time as the Unfilited Life.

The rest is HIStory.

Although, Elevation Church Online changed my life. God has transitioned me from their online community to establish a passion-filled legacy-initiative called Sisterhood Exclusive Wellness Organization. This transition has been an empowering experience. Through Sisterhood Exclusive Wellness Organization, I have unlimited access to serve Christ-filled, high-impact, beautiful, and smart women. The opportunity to serve women in this manner has changed my life immensely. God has entirely restored every broken space in my life—personally and professionally. He has healed my soul. He has taken me to heights I have never known.

I remain constant in this, “that I have seen and will continue to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.”

I thank God in advance for the person reading my love story. Please know you did not come across this website by coincidence. I thank God right now that you will come to know Jesus Christ before His return.

Since you have continued reading, recite this prayer now: “Lord Jesus, I know that I am a sinner, and I ask for Your forgiveness. I believe You died for my sins and rose from the dead. I turn from my sins and invite You to come into my heart and life.

Don’t wait to start living your best life in Christ. Stop listening to the lies in your head telling you that you are not worthy. Like me, you deserve to live an abundant life. Jesus has declared and decreed it. I can finally confidently state that Jesus Christ truly does heal the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. I am a living witness to God’s everlasting love and unfailing kindness.

If you are seeking God to truly heal your life so you can experience freedom, joy, and peace that only exist in Christ Jesus, please visit the Sisterhood Exclusive Community to sign up for the Sisterhood Exclusive online group that aligns with your specific area of growth.

We welcome you into our community of powerful women leaders who are thriving for and in Christ.

Welcome to the Kingdom.

For & In Christ,

Love Always,